Posted by: katjorgensen | January 27, 2014

A Year Between Posts

I cannot believe it’s been a year between blog posts.  But if I’m honest with myself, last year and the time since I lost my beloved husband Jorgie has passed in a complete blur.  I have very little memories of the time other than a pervasive time of sadness.

I’m a huge Downton Abbey fan and watching it this season has allowed me to recognize many of my grief behaviors through the show’s characters, especially Mary who lost her dear husband Matthew and Matthew’s mother Isobel Crawley.  The writer has done an amazing job of tapping into grief and showing what it is to lose someone you love so deeply.

I was especially taken by the line that was something like, “With great love there comes great misery for the one left behind.”  So very true.  I haven’t just been sad in my grief.  I’ve been miserable.

But I was lucky to have been married to my Jorgie and to have shared so many wonderful times together and to be loved as so few people are in this life.

I have spent a lot of time knitting this past year.  I completed the most intricate shawl I think i’ve even made.  It’s Zinfandel by Anne Hanson.  Here’s a picture of it.Image

In December I adopted a kitten from a rescue organization.  He’s an absolute love.  His name is Sam and he’s a black kitten with a bit of tabby stripes and hairy ears.  I’m still not sure who adopted whom.

IMG_0986

I’m hopeful that Sam can brighten my life and I can brighten his.  He sure has livened mine up.

I’ve been doing some plotting on book 3 in my River City Mystery series.  When Jorgie died I was in the process of editing the second book to add humor.  I’m still struggling with this and not ready to attack the rest of the edits.  So I’m trying to have some fun with just the joy of writing again.  The creative process.  And hopefully book 3, “Your Lights Are Out” will allow me to regain the joy in something I love to do.

I’m still seeing a grief therapist and I do not know how I would have made it through these months without her wisdom.  She tells me that grief work is hard work.  I’ve learned that she is spot on.

And one last thing – the Mary Crawley character on Downton Abbey says that her Matthew fills her mind and she is not ready to let him go.  I think that pretty well sums up how I feel about my Jorgie.  The business of living without him is indeed difficult.  But I am forging ahead.

I wish each of you peace and happiness.

Kat

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Responses

  1. Aw, sweetie, hugs. This has been such a rough year and a half. Truly the pits. Losing your beloved tuxedo cat, Ben, on top of it just compounded misery on misery. But it’s wonderful to see life returning through your creative endeavors. (That shawl is the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen!) And adopting sweet Sam is another huge step. The fact that you’re even contemplating writing again has me cheering in excitement! So great to see you blogging again! And I’m over the moon to think there might be another installment of your hysterical River City Mystery series! I cannot wait!!

  2. So good to see you blogging again Kat. Your shawl is beautiful. You have been through so much this past year, I do hope that you are starting to enjoy life again. Sam is a little cutie and I hope he will bring you much happiness for many years to come. I am looking forward to reading about what Becca gets up to next!

  3. Yay I can see the post now. Love the shawl, I still have to do the stole version but too many time sensitive things are taking up my knitting these days! Sam is a cutie pie, looks so sweet. I’m glad you have company!

  4. Kat, It is good to hear that you are working on healing. There are so many emotions to work thru and it can be exhausting. Your new shawl and new kitten seem to be signals that you are now on the upward movement again. Jorgie is with you every day. I will follow your story here and on ravelry.

  5. Hello dear Kat! So glad to see you back again. Your shawl is wonderful and so is is Sam; so adorable. You’ll be good for each other, I’m sure! Love ROsx

  6. Hi Kat! so glad to see your post. I can’t even imagine what this last year was like for you. I am glad you feel up to writing a bit and I’m glad Sam found you – he is such a cutie!

    Looking forward to your next book when you and it are ready! hugs, Torre


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